I am one of a growing number of women who have decided that having a child isn’t in their future. I’m only 20 but while many females my age see children in their near or distant future, I do not.
But there is nothing worse than being judged for that life decision, mainly from people who won’t really be impacted by that choice. I am used to the chorus of “Really? But why?” Because for some reason, it still seems a given that women will have children, even if their partner isn’t thrilled about the idea.
Gone are the days in the post war era, when the population needed to grow. So why is it still seen as a selfish decision?
Of course, discussing this matter with your partner is important as it will directly impact their lives. I am lucky enough to have a boyfriend that has the same views as me.
What truly annoys both of us though, is the phrase, “Well you’re still young, you’ll change your mind in a few years.” Maybe so, but I think the likelihood is that I won’t ever have children. There are also too many judgy women who say that you won’t be truly happy until you have that bundle of joy in your arms. Please stop saying that! I am more than happy to complete my studies at university, start my career, live with my boyfriend and buy dogs, wake up whenever I want on a weekend, and to be free to exercise and generally do what I want.
The truth is, that to be a parent you have to be selfless in every aspect of your life. But I can’t be like that; I need that extra hour in bed, I want that bag instead of buying a new pair of school shoes.
I am also used to hearing “When your friends start having kids, you will start getting broody.” Well, guess what? I already have friends who are coming close to their due dates and I am over the moon for them and I will babysit whenever they need me to but I will then be happy to go back to my peaceful home where everything is tidy and where I left it.
Besides, I wouldn’t want to bring a child into this world. North Korea is testing missiles, poverty and homelessness seem to be rife in the UK, it’s becoming harder and harder to find a decent paying job and in turn get a house of your own, and Trump is President…
Finally, and I can’t stress this enough, it’s my body! If I don’t want to put it through carrying another human being then I won’t. Please stop judging and instead spread the love!